Vertex Views

Tag: Necessary

  • Do Not Commit To Anyone

    It is the fool who always rushes to take sides. Do not commit to any side or cause but yourself. By maintaining your independence, you become the master of others— playing people against one another, making them pursue you.

    If you allow people to feel they possess you to any degree, you lose all power over them. By not committing your affections, they will only try harder to win you over. Stay aloof and you gain the power that comes from their attention and frustrated desire. Play the Virgin Queen: Give them hope but never satisfaction.

    You must learn the tricks that will enhance your image. Emanate mystery and desirability, never discouraging anyone’s hopes but never yielding. When you hold yourself back, you incur not anger but a kind of respect. You instantly seem powerful because you make yourself un-graspable, rather than succumbing to the group, or to the relationship, as most people do. As your reputation for independence grows, more and more people will come to desire you, wanting to be the one who gets you to commit. The moment you commit, the magic is gone. You become like everyone else. People will try all kinds of underhanded methods to get you to commit.

    • They will give you gifts; shower you with favours, all to put you under obligation.
    • Accept the gifts and favours if you so desire, but be careful to maintain your inner aloofness.

    This idea of non-commitment while being courted brings up the conversation of certain women who play this game very tactfully through many mediums of social media. This is not to say men don’t play the same game, it just appears woman are far more prominent at courting attention.

    We see this in individuals who have large social media followings. Through posting provocative photos and video’s they attract and court mass attention. Modern society uses the word ‘thirst’ to describe this phenomenon.

    The possibility of having somebody — the mystery of not knowing what’s going to come next is what’s enticing to so many people. It’s why the opposite sex has so much ‘potential for power‘. There’s a certain power to be said about a woman who can excite interest and entice a man through the unknown. Do I believe the same can be said for men? Yes. But women have often been represented as ‘sexual beings’, and on the occasion worshipped as god’s through dozens of cultures over thousands of years. This has clearly influenced the manner to which we treat and look at the female gender today.

    Make your moves matters of your own choosing, not defensive reactions to the push and pull of others around you.

  • Do Not Build Fortresses To Protect Yourself Isolation Is Dangerous

    When you’re constantly building and refining projects it’s very easy to lose contact with the people close to you. By maintaining minimal contact for weeks and months on end you can fall into a very detached state from the surrounding culture and its people—AKA “the streets”. It’s clear there are many benefits to having such tendencies, though the setbacks should be outlined.

    Imagine one day popping your head out of the cave that you’ve created for yourself to find the people around you have dramatically changed. Imagine the feeling of missing countless opportunities because you were too busy in your tunnel. You may be one of the many that happily accept this fate in exchange for peace and silence. Or you may not be comfortable with the feeling of missed opportunities and information. Whichever camp you lay within, it’s more often than not intelligent to poke your head out of the cave every now and again keeping your ear to the streets and remaining aware of your changing environment.

    In the 1660s Louis XIV had the palace of Versailles built for him and his court. He purposefully designed the palace so his nobility remained close to him. The king’s bedroom occupied the literal centre of the palace as the focus of everyone’s attention.

    Every single morning he would see individuals and groups of people in a precise order, first the king’s illegitimate sons and his grandchildren, then the princes and princesses of the blood, and then the physician and surgeon. There followed the grand officers, the king’s official reader, and so on and so forth from government officials to entertainers. This ritual was known as ‘the lever’. By the end of the ceremony, the room would be packed with over a hundred people. The day was organized so that all the palace’s energy was directed at and passed through the king. Louis XIV kept a very close ear to his surroundings. It’s much more difficult to plot an assassination of such a king.

    There was no possibility of privacy in the palace, not even for the king — every room communicated with another. Everyone’s actions were interdependent, and nothing and no one passed unnoticed

    From the design of the palace of Versailles with the king’s bed at the centre to his daily ritual requiring his family, courtiers, and government officials to check in with him (around 100 people), Louis XIV made himself the centre of activity. He was always looking around, observing everything, including anyone who failed to show up at his meals and other events. Because of the constant togetherness, nothing escaped the king’s notice. By keeping court activity revolving around him and understanding that isolation is dangerous, Louis XIV managed to maintain peace for fifty years.

    The world is dangerous and enemies are everywhere— everyone has to protect themselves. A fortress seems the safest. But isolation exposes you to more dangers than it protects you from—it cuts you off from valuable information, it makes you conspicuous and an easy target. Better to circulate among people, find allies and mingle. You are shielded from your enemies by the crowd.

    5 Dangers That Isolation Brings

    1. You lose contact with the sources of your power.
    2. You lose your ear for what is happening around you.
    3. You lose your sense of proportion.
    4. You cut yourself off from the kind of knowledge on which your life depends.
    5. You cannot hear what is happening around you, including the plots against you.

    It becomes harder to break out of your isolation when you choose to. It sinks you deep into its quicksand without your noticing.

  • Make Other People Come to You—Use Bait if Necessary

    Make your opponent come to you. When you force others to act, you’re in control. Bait them, then attack. Make other people come to you—use bait if necessary.

    What does it mean to make other people come to you, using bait if necessary? Many people achieve power through aggression, but it has a downside. As you continue to use aggression as the main tactic you have to launch attacks in all directions at a growing number of enemies. This becomes tiring.

    At this point, you’re no longer in complete control — you’re reacting to your enemies without calculating the consequences, rather than planning several moves ahead.

    Power comes from acting effectively, not simply aggressively. Often, it’s more effective to lay traps, then wait for them to work. You win for the long term (the war) rather than the short term (the battle).

    Instead of reacting to your opponents, maintain the initiative by making them react to you — this keeps them on the defensive. Put another way, when you make people come to you, you’re in control of the situation.

    In the realm of power, you must ask yourself, what is the point of chasing here and there, trying to solve problems and defeat my enemies, if I never feel in control? Why am I always having to react to events instead of directing them? The answer is simple: Your idea of power is wrong. You have mistaken aggressive action for effective action. And most often the most effective action is to stay back, keep calm, and let others be frustrated by the traps you lay for them, playing for long-term power rather than quick victory.

    Let me repeat a portion of this quote for emphasis:

    “You have mistaken aggressive action for effective action”.

    Do not become misguided — they are NOT the same thing. Aggressive action does not mean it’s effective. It does not mean it’s efficient. It does not mean, it will work. Just because your aggressive emotions and actions give you the feeling you’re in control, does not make it true in reality. Usually, this is a self-constructed illusion that gives us a false sense of control and security.

    Is there ever a good time to go to your opponent, you ask? Yes, of course, there is an exception to the rule when you should go to your opponent. Depending on the situation, bait and wait is a wise choice but taking the lead to attack your opponent can be advantageous as well. The element of surprise does not give the opponent time to think of a counter-attack. They are left at your mercy and must respond to your terms.

    Your biggest issue is to know what tactic to use and the right time to use it. To bait and wait or to strike with force, that is the dilemma. You can be like the bear hunter who lays the honey bait trap. He doesn’t exhaust himself and risks his life to find the bear he lays a trap and waits patiently for the bear to come to him. Or if time is not on your side, strike quickly to intimidate and control. Choose your approach wisely.

  • Always Say Less Than Necessary

    The less you say, the more intimidating and powerful you are. Always say less than necessary. When you do speak, make it vague and ambiguous, leaving the meaning to others to interpret. They’ll be frustrated and obsessed with trying to figure you out.

    In the power game, appearance is everything. When you always say less than necessary, you come across as powerful, intimidating, and mysterious. Keep these principles in mind:

    • When you’re silent, you make other people uncomfortable. Because they dislike uncertainty, people want to know what you’re thinking. When you control your words, they can’t figure out what you mean or intend.
    • Short answers and silence make people feel defensive. They quickly try to fill the silence, and in the process reveal motivations and weaknesses — information you can use. Later they’ll obsess over every word you said and its potential implications. The inordinate attention they give to your brief comments adds to your power.
    • In most instances, the less you say, the more important and profound it seems, and the more mysterious you are. For example, Andy Warhol found that he had more power when he said little and kept his comments vague and ambiguous. Sometimes he made purposely meaningless comments. Interviewers struggled to interpret what he meant, believing it was profound. He learned from fellow artist Marcel Duchamp that the less he said about his work, the more people talked about it and the more desirable it became.
    • Besides creating an impression of great import, saying little avoids the risk of saying something foolish, which can be costly. For instance, in the early 1800s, a Russian rebel named Ryleyev talked too much and paid for it with his life. Nicholas I had sentenced him to death, but at the moment he was being hanged the rope broke. Believing he’d be pardoned, as usually happened in such cases, he yelled to the crowd that Russia couldn’t get anything right, even rope. Instead of pardoning him, Nicholas responded, “Let’s prove the contrary,” and Ryleyev was hanged the next day with a rope that held. Ryleyev hadn’t learned to always say less than necessary.