You can die from someone else’s misery—emotional states are as infectious as diseases. You may feel you are helping the drowning man but you are only precipitating your own disaster. The unfortunate sometimes draw misfortune on themselves; they will also draw it on you. Associate with the happy and fortunate instead.

The infector possesses an inward instability that radiates outward drawing disaster to all that they touch. Marie Gilbert A.K.A Lola Montez of Ireland was one such person. Lola found herself in the role of a courtesan (prostitute of the royal court). In today’s society, Lola would be considered a gold-digger. She only sought out men with high social standing in the community that she could use for her own gain.

Once she would have her hooks in these men, their slow demise began. One of her victims was King Ludwig of Bavaria, who felt compelled to help Lola yet once he was warned of the dangers of his affair with her, he could not seem to resist Lola’s aura and almost found his once peaceful country in a state of civil war. It was not until then that the king finally ordered Lola to leave but a month after she left King Ludwig was forced to relinquish his throne.

There are many men who suffered because of their association with Lola Montez.

King Ludwig said that he was “bewitched” by Lola. Lola was an unstable, incurable and infectious character type. This is not to say that these characteristics are only restricted to women, this is to say that there are some people whose emotions are so powerful that they infect the very soul of the people that they touch.

Those misfortunate among us who have been brought down by circumstances beyond their control deserve all the help and sympathy we can give them. But there are others who are not born to misfortune or unhappiness, but who draw it upon themselves by their destructive actions and unsettling effects on others.

Is this person simply talking about doing good in the world and helping people? Or are they actually going out there and executing their mission? By observing how one’s actions map against their intentions and words you can pretty accurately judge someone’s character, values and virtues.
Most important of all, do not take pity in these infectious characters. Do not enmesh yourself in trying to help. The infector will remain unchanged, but you will be unhinged.

At the other end of the spectrum, there are people who attract happiness and spread it. Do everything you can to associate with these people, so you share in the positive vibes and good fortune they attract.

Happiness and success aren’t the only positive qualities you should seek out. Any positive quality of someone else — friendliness, charm, creativity, generosity, etc. — can infect you in a good way.

Although Talleyrand was a conniver, he had other traits that made people want to be around him and they rubbed off on others: he was gracious, charming, and witty. Napoleon, who was a rough peasant, recognized this and kept Talleyrand around, hoping to absorb some of his charms.

You can do the same thing: Strive to associate with people who have the traits and qualities you lack. If you’re moody, hang out with cheerful people; if you’re cheap, associate with generous people.

However, always avoid people with the same character flaws as yours — they’ll reinforce your worst traits. Make associating with positive people a rule you live by, and you won’t need a therapist.