Coercion creates a reaction that will eventually work against you. You must seduce others into wanting to move in your direction. A person you have seduced becomes your loyal pawn. And the way to seduce others is to operate on their individual psychologies and weaknesses. Soften up the resistant by working on their emotions, playing on what they hold dear and what they fear. Ignore the hearts and minds of others and they will grow to hate you.

“When Louis XV’s grandson and chose a successor, Louis XVI married the 15-year-old daughter of the Empress of Austria, the French caught a glimpse of the future that seemed hopeful. Marie Antoinette was her name. She was beautiful and full of life. See, the French had grown disgusted with the series of mistresses who had dominated Louis XV and they looked forward to serving a new queen. Marie Antoinette publicly rode through the streets of Paris for the first time greeted with applauding crowd swarming her carriage. “How fortunate,” she wrote to her mother, “to be in a position in which one can gain widespread affection at so little cost.

In 1774, Louis XV died and Louis XVI took the throne. As soon as Maria Antoinette became Queen, she abandoned herself to the pleasures she loved the most, ordering, wearing the most expensive gowns and jewellery in the realm, sporting the most elaborate hair in history. Her sculpted coif is rising as much as three feet above her head, drawing a constant succession of mass balls and fetes, all of these whims, she paid for on credit never concerning herself with the cost of who paid the bills. Marie Antoinette’s greatest pleasure was the creation and designing of a private garden of Eden, a chateau on the grounds of the sailors with its own woods.

With each new whim, the cost of maintaining these garden soared. Meanwhile, France itself was deteriorating. There were famine and widespread discontent. Even the socially insulated courtiers cede with resentment. The Queen treated them like children. Only her favourites matter and these were becoming fewer and fewer, but Marie Antoinette did not concern herself with this. Not once throughout her reign did she read a minister’s report. Not once did she tour with the provinces and rally the people to her side. Not once did she mingle among the pageants or receive a delegation from her. She did none of these things because as Queen, she felt the people owed her their affection and she was not required to love in return.” This was one of her biggest mistakes.

“In 1784, the Queen became embroidered in a scandal as part of an elaborate swindle. The most expensive diamond necklace in Europe had been purchased under her name and during the swindler’s trial, her lavish lifestyle became public. She’d become the focus of the people’s growing resentment. Five years later in 1789, an unprecedented event took place, the beginning of the French Revolution but the Queen did not worry but the people have their little rebellion, she seemed to think. That year, the people marched on Versailles forcing the Royal family to quit the palace and take residence in Paris. This offered the Queen an opportunity to heal the wounds she had opened and established contact with the people, establish respect but the Queen had not learned her lesson. Not once would she leave the palace during her stay in Paris as subjects could rot in hell for all she cared?

Three years later, the Royal Couple was moved from the palace to prison as a revolution officially declared the end of the monarchy. Louis XVI was then tried, found guilty and guillotined. As Marie Antoinette awaited the same fate, hardly a soul came to her defence. Not one of her former friends in the court, not even one of Europe’s other monarchs who were family to her came to her side. Not even her own brother who had now taken the throne. In October of 1793, she finally knelt at the guillotine unrepentant and defiant to the bitter end.

Making people do what you want by force may work in the short term, but it isn’t a sustainable long-term strategy because it generates resistance. Working on the hearts and minds of others — so they bend to your will voluntarily — is more effective and less costly.

The key to working on the hearts and minds of others is to use people’s emotions and weaknesses. Understand their individual psychology and their emotional responses. Target strong emotions such as hate, envy, and love. Play on what they’re afraid of and what’s dear to them. When you connect with their emotions, they’re more susceptible to your control.

Win others’ hearts and minds, and you’ll have them eating out of your hand. Play on their emotions and weaknesses appeal to their self-interest and they’ll willingly do what you want. Build broad support — someday you’ll need it. Neglect this at your peril.